Yes I am alive and well!

To so many of you who have called, texted, emailed...I am OK! Doing great as a matter of fact. I know I have said this before, I am blown away by how much people care about me and my family. After the last doc visit in Mid-December I decided that for a couple of weeks I didn't want to think about breast cancer and truthfully I didn't think anyone would notice that I didn't post. Wow was I wrong! To so many of you I am truly sorry that I haven't posted.

My family and I had a wonderful holiday season. Christmas of course was truly a highlight as it always is with little ones. The boys got a wii and have been playing nonstop. Even little Matt can beat his brothers in bowling. Then there was the Lund's New Year's Eve party which was fantastic. I had sweat rolling down my back from dancing so much and even G joined in!

G and I went to Park City for a few days to Christmas shop and relax. It was great to not think about my health. We went to the Jazz game with the Miller's and as so many of you know, when you go to the Jazz game with the Miller's it is like you are super stars for the night! It was awesome. I almost touched Kyle Korver. G loved hearing Jerry Sloan's colorful vocabulary.

It was wonderful to see both sides of the family at Christmas parties. When you have any illness you really appreciate all the small things and to see family members and their sweet smiling faces is a pleasure.

So the latest is this...Dr. Nibley ordered the Oncotype DX test and there are only 2 labs in the U.S. that can currently do this. The lab is in California and he said it would take about 2 weeks. This was Dec. 10th. With the holidays we wanted to be sure the test was back before we started treatment so we scheduled our appt. for this coming Tuesday the 13th. My aunt Cinda works at the Radiation dept up at Huntsman and I have asked her to make some appts. up there to get 2nd opinions. At the first of the year she called and got all my information and she called the lab in Calif. to check the status on my test. To all of our dismay they never rec'd my slides! G was probably the most upset and called the Dr. office immediately. The problem was, when Dr. N ordered the test the pathology dept didn't have my tumor slides ready and the paper work was pushed aside and forgot about. Needless to say the Dr. and ourselves were very upset and they have expedited the test. They called this past Friday and are hoping the results are here Tuesday when I go to my appt. That is really the only thing to happen of late.

I think these past couple of weeks have been a time of mental preparation for me, to get me ready for what is coming. At the breast clinic all the doctor's and nurses were so matter of fact about the treatment. Saying, "Yes you need chemo, yes you need radiation and hormone therapy. Oh by the way, yes you will get sick, fatigued and your hair really will fall out. But it grows back." Something about hearing all that over and over again for 3 and a 1/2 hours is SO brutal! I kept thinking that it is so easy for them to say, it isn't happening to them. Even G was saying, "Yes do it all, I want you all better." The biggest thing going against me is my age. I have never wished to be a day older than what I really am since I was 18, but on that day I kept hearing, "We are trying to buy you 40 or 50 years of life. If you were 50 or 60 years old we wouldn't recommend all this treatment."

So now here I am trying to prepare to lose a part of me. I do know that my hair will grow back but in truth, I love my hair. I have great hair and I really am going to miss it. G is looking forward to having a wife who can change the color of her hair daily! My concern is, what if my hair grows back grey? Crap that would really stink! But in reality I will take this temporary loss of hair if it means that I will have 40 or 50 more years to live with my family. It is a small price to pay and after many hours of pondering all the options, I am ok with it all. I will still get 2nd opinions from Huntsman Cancer and after we have looked at all the options G and I will together make a decision. Tuesday is the big day hopefully, and I will post then the results of the test and what comes up next.

Thanks to each of you again for all the love and support. I am continually amazed by the power of love and compassion there is in this world. I hope each of you had a wonderful holiday season, celebrating the life of the Savior and his sacrifice he made so that we can live and make choices and choose to live this wonderful thing we call life!!

Hugs and kisses all around! Chandy